Running on Empty?
Some days, I sit in my car after work, with 30 minutes to spare as I wait for my son at the bus stop and… stare. I’ve spent the day showing up for my students and holding space for them, overstimulated and ready to go home, buuuuuttt…. By the time I walk through the door at home, I feel like I’m on 2% battery, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I know I am not the only one who feels this way because I see memes on Instagram about it all the time. Yes, at times I see them and laugh because I relate with them, but the harsh reality is that it isn’t funny at times.
Emotional Exhaustion Is Real
Have you noticed that emotional exhaustion isn’t always loud? It doesn’t always come in the form of crying or yelling or breaking down. Sometimes it’s numbness, zoning out, snapping at people you love, losing motivation, or feeling “off” even when everything looks fine on the outside. For me, it often looks like going into autopilot, checking the boxes, and making sure I stay busy at all times. Being everything for everyone. But inside? I’m flatlined, gassed, ready to quit. And it usually catches up to me in the quiet moments, especially during the summer, when life slows down and I can finally feel again when the stillness is both a blessing and a mirror.
For my girlies who are in a relationship or married, I know emotional exhaustion is a real living thing that sometimes feels like it is a permanent fixture in your life. Well, that’s how I felt in my past marriage. We get so consumed with looking after our husbands and kids that we lose ourselves. It’s especially hard when you have a husband or partner, like I did, who was not emotionally present. That may look like a husband or partner who will rely on you to not only pay 50% of all bills but also tend to the kids, clean the house, have dinner ready every night, and please them sexually on command. That becomes taxing, and then we grow resentful. So please never think that you are not enough or lazy, you are just not prioritizing yourself.
It’s Not Laziness—It’s a Signal
What I’ve learned (and continue to relearn) is that emotional exhaustion is my nervous system waving a white flag. It’s my body asking me to start holding space for myself.
It’s why I’ve started building in micro-moments of safety throughout my day:
• Taking 5 minutes to sit with my hand on my heart. While I breathe in and out.
• Saying “no” to things that aren’t urgent or necessary.
• Choosing silence over stimulation.
• Drinking water and stretching instead of numbing out with my phone. This one is a hard one, I know!
Small Shifts That Help: Start Practicing Today
Here are a few practices I recommend (and use myself) when I feel the emotional crash coming:
• Name it out loud: Saying “I’m emotionally tired” to your partner, friends, and family is powerful. Communicating this can make it feel less shameful.
• Schedule your pause: Literally block out 10–15 minutes in your day to do nothing. Perferably right when you get home after a long day at work.
• Create a safe evening routine before bed: Soft lighting, quiet music, herbal tea, teach your body that it’s safe to power down.
• Reconnect with yourself: Ask, “What emotion have I been avoiding?” and journal freely. Research states journaling can have a positive impact on your mental health.
If you’re reading this and feel like you’re barely holding it together—pause. Breathe. You’re not behind. You’re not broken. You’re just tired. And tired women deserve rest, not more reasons to keep performing.
Love Jacquelyn