Coming Home to Myself…

Let’s be honest. Self-love isn't a bubble bath and a scented candle. It’s deeper than that. It’s a quiet revolution, a radical decision to show up for yourself, especially when you don’t feel worthy of it. Self-love is the way you speak to yourself when no one’s watching. It’s the boundaries you set. It’s the gentle choices you make to honor your body, your needs, and your voice. Self-love isn’t ego, it isn’t something to be ashamed of, it’s returning to your wholeness after life tries to break you.

My Story

It took me a long time to get back to myself after the trauma I experienced. I was told by a close friend that healing was going to come in waves, and boy, was she right! I spent years feeling disconnected, exhausted, and full of shame. One moment that stayed with me for a very long time and contributed to my low self-esteem was an incident. In August 2022, my ex-husband asked me for a divorce. It was July when we decided to work things out, but when he introduced the notion, he made me promise I would lose weight if we did. I was gutted. I had just lost our son in October 2021, a couple of months before. I was a forty-year-old woman struggling with depression, so weight loss was not a top priority. I had let myself go. Not just physically, but emotionally, and mentally too. I gained weight. A lot of it. And I used to beat myself up over it. That moment took root in me. It made me question everything about my worth and my body.

But now I understand what was happening. I was grieving. I was carrying a silent loss, not just of a person and a situation, but also of myself. My identity. My confidence. My sense of being enough. And you know what? That version of me deserved love, too. The tired one, who ate to cope. She deserved tenderness. And now, I give that to her. Now, I practice self-love like a ritual. I don’t always get it perfect. But I’m no longer harsh. I no longer shame myself for not healing “fast enough.” Because healing isn’t a deadline, it’s a process.

Have I perfected the process of self-love? No, of course not, and honestly, I don’t believe anyone ever truly does. Self-love isn’t a destination you reach and then check off a list. It’s an ongoing, lifelong journey, a choice you make daily, sometimes moment by moment. There’s no deadline, no finish line, just deeper understanding and softer compassion for yourself as you grow. Even choosing to be on this journey is an act of self-love. It looks like catching a critical thought and replacing it with something kinder. It looks like resting when your body says "enough," even if the to-do list isn’t done. And sometimes, it’s as simple as saying “no” without guilt, because peace is more important than people-pleasing.

Ways You Can Practice Self-Love (Starting Today)

1. Talk to Yourself Like Someone You Love
Catch those inner thoughts. Would you say that to your best friend? If not, change it. Start with: “I’m doing the best I can. That’s enough today.”

2. Honor Your Body Without Punishment
This isn’t about shrinking yourself. It’s about asking, “What does my body need today to feel cared for?” Rest, movement, nourishment, whatever that answer is, it’s valid.

3. Say No Without Explaining
“No” is a complete sentence. Setting boundaries is an act of self-love. It tells the world: I matter too.

4. Create a Loving Ritual
Leave a note to yourself on the mirror. Stand in front of a mirror, look straight into your eyes, and say three kind things about yourself..

5. Forgive the Version of You That Didn’t Know Better
You’ve been surviving. Now you’re learning how to thrive. There’s grace in that. Give yourself credit for every quiet act of courage.

Self-love isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be. It’s about coming home to yourself. If you are ready to take the first step towards self-love. Click here for a free worksheet titled, Coming Home to Myself: A Self-Love Worksheet. I created this with you in mind. Oh… one more thing… If no one told you today, you are worthy, you are healing, and you are doing better than you think.

Love Jacquelyn