Is Rejection Redirection?

Rejection has always been such a sore subject for me, but I see now that it was meant to happen. Obviously, when you are going through it in the present, it’s never a nice feeling because rejection can sting. It can make you question yourself, replay conversations, wonder what you could have done differently, and sometimes even convince you that you simply weren’t enough. But what if rejection isn’t always about being unwanted?

What if sometimes, rejection is actually redirection? I’ve had moments in my life when I desperately wanted something to work out. I wanted the relationship to last a lifetime because being chosen is so addicting. I wanted a certain job opportunity to grow my bank account. And when it didn’t, I took it personally. At the time, I couldn’t see beyond the disappointment. I only saw what and who I was losing.

Now, I can look back and recognize something I couldn’t see then: some of the things I thought were rejections were actually protections. Those doors needed to close because I was headed somewhere else. Those people needed to walk away because they were not meant to accompany me into my next chapter. Those opportunities didn’t work out because something more aligned with who I was becoming was waiting for me. Rejection had less to do with my worth and more to do with the direction my life needed to take.

With that being said, this realization has changed the way I view rejection. I no longer want to spend so much energy asking, “Why didn’t they choose me?” Instead, I ask myself, “What is this making room for?” This low-key feels like a superpower, to be honest. Rejection can become an invitation to pause, reevaluate, and release what we were trying so hard to hold onto. This allows us to recognize that sometimes we are grieving an outcome that was never actually meant to be ours. And yes, we are allowed to be disappointed, cry, and feel hurt. We don’t have to immediately turn rejection into a beautiful life lesson while we’re still sitting in the pain of it. Because Lord knows that there were many situations throughout my life where rejection felt like a gut punch- you know, the kind that takes the wind right out of you. But eventually, we can begin to look at it differently.

I think one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is learning to stop attaching our value to someone else’s decision. It’s very hard for someone to reciprocate respect or love towards another when they don’t do the same for themselves. Most of the time, it literally has nothing to do with us. Yet, we utilize precious time sulking over people or opportunities that were never meant for us. And we both know that life is waaaay too short and our energy is waaaay too precious to waste on people or events that hold no worth in our life.